Shopping Carts & Studs

I left AR. Well, actually, I was bribed into going to TX. Yeah, I like chocolate covered cherries. And, I was promised a ticket to the Houston Rodeo Finals.

So we went to the rodeo. Our sole purpose was to find a Cowboy for Sierra and a Stud for Gracie, via our respective mother’s requests. We went through traffic at decent speeds though Sierra never saw the speedometer past 40. Grace decided that she needed a loud speaker for the top of her stupid car so that she could yell at the other drivers and tell them how to drive correctly. Sara sat in the back seat and held onto her coffin with a death grip. We passed a, what appeared to be, one car wreck, however it needed about half a million tow trucks to tow it. We then payed 10 dollars parking, convinced the nice man that the mud caked car did not want a bath for 12 dollars, and then headed toward the rodeo. We forced Sierra to jay run across the rather busy intersection, safely, I might add, but I won't. Mostly, she screamed, she’s rather good at this occupation. We then continued sedately on to the rodeo venue. After passing a Toys-R-Us shopping cart we, collectively, I’m sure, decided that Gracie should push Sara at haphazard speeds to the rodeo. Unfortunately, we didn’t have the time.

We walked up to a gate labeled VIP, Very Idiotic Personages, and assumed that this was our gate. We were wrong. The nice lady directing person, directed us to the far side of the building. Apparently, we looked like we needed exercise. After taking a hike around the entire building we got directed by the nice man directing person, who pointed us in the direction of several flights of escalators, which in case you wanted to know, one should never run up. Don’t you know how many accidents this could cause? Sara was kind enough to find this information out for us.

After hiking to the very top of the building, going up the elevator, where Gracie gave a speech, and past the dragon lady, we arrived at our seats. Which were the seats located at the very top of the nose bleed section. Sara was excited about this occurrence because this meant she could stand on her seat without a person yelling, “Um, ma’am please sit down.” Instead she got a frown, a “Sit down, that’s not safe,” and a shaking finger. Sara and Sierra were determined that Gracie buy them blinky lights, and/or cotton candy. She did neither, and they unsystematicly disowned her. RUDE.

Then all three of us cheered and booed the contestants and picked out various studs and cowboys based on their winnings. Sara even decided she might need one, seeing as he made so much money. Sara left at one point, and her guy kissed someone, it remains a mystery as to who, we couldn’t see her very well, and Sara refrains from commenting. However, she has not come up exorbitantly richer yet. Which means, one, it wasn't her, or two, Gracie still has time to become her best friend and only beneficiary of her will.

The chuck wagons came out to race, and we were instructed to make friendly bets. As we always, without fail, do what we are told, Sara and Gracie bet their doritos against Sierra buying supper. Sierra won, not just once, but twice, in a row. TWICE. We, collectively, think she bribed the chuck wagon dudes, with her cute face and sweet talk. Then, we watched the mutton busting contest. We have no idea why people think merry-go-rounds are dangerous, then put their 5 year old kids on the back of sheep and hope they hold on. Either way, the winner was a little boy and they interviewed him afterwards. They asked him how he practiced to get so good and he replied, “Well...I’ve been doing it for...twenty-three...years.” Now we know.

Immediately after the rodeo was a Brad Paisley concert. Sara cannot sit down during a concert, so we all stood...and yelled...and sang loudly and off key...and clapped...and waved our hands in the air...and jumped up and down...and just mostly had fun. We are not sure what all the rest of the sedate people who just sat there and watched where thinking but it doesn’t matter. At the end, Sierra and Sara's voices were shot, so Gracie laughed and made fun of them. As time went on, though, their voices got better, but Gracie began to sound like a teenage boy.

About this time, we realized we were starved half to death because nothing at the rodeo cost less than highway robbery. Actually, Gracie realized she was starving halfway through the rodeo, but we refused to be robbed. Since we were going to spend the night with nice, hospitable friends of Sierra who had no idea what they were getting into, we decided to meet up with them and go find food. The meeting place was in front of the ferris wheel. We arrived there and found a mob of people, but no friends yet. While we sat there waiting, Gracie and Sara discussed the fact that they still had not found a stud for Gracie. And of course, they could not possibly disappoint Gracie’s mom. So, they started looking for a stud with the necessary requirements: tall enough, no girl, etc. Finally, they hit the jackpot when they found 4 dudes standing there, just chilling. So, since Gracie can somehow convince anyone to do anything, we walked up and she tapped the closest one and asked in her most manipulative (despite sounding like a teenage boy) voice, “Um, excuse me. Um, my mom wants a picture of me with a guy, and I was wondering if you would mind.” We do not know why she changed it from stud to guy, but either way, you would think from the dude’s expression that we had offered him a hundred bucks and a free trip to Vegas. We got the necessary picture and walked away celebrating our success, while the dudes celebrated...well, we’re not sure what.

We then met up with the afore mentioned friends, spent the night at their house, and traumatized them to appropriate measures. We then returned to Sierra’s, and had a rather normal birthday celebration. Sara and Gracie are officially bad for one another. Officially. If you would like to see the document, well, um, we probably got hungry and ate it.